The following was a page put on the McDonnell Douglas (now part of Boeing)
internet home page by a worker with a sense of humor. The company took
exception to it, however...
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10
days of purchase
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best
meet your needs and desires.
1. Purchaser
| Mr. | __ |
Mrs. | __ |
Comrade | __ |
| Miss | __ |
Lt. | __ |
Gen. | __ |
| Ms. | __ |
Other | __ |
Classified | __ |
| First name | __________ |
Initial | __________ |
Last Name | __________ |
| Password | __________ |
Code name | __________ |
| Latitude | __________ |
Longitude | __________ |
Altitude | __________ |
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
| F4 Phantom | __ |
F15 Eagle | __ |
F18 Hornet | __ |
| A12 Warthog | __ |
Classified | __ |
3. Date of purchase:
| Month | __________ |
Day | __________ |
Year | __________ |
4. Serial Number:
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
| Mail Order | __ |
Received as Gift/Aid Package | __ |
| Catalog Showroom | __ |
Government Surplus | __ |
| Discount Store | __ |
Classified | __ |
| Sleazy Arms Broker | __ |
| __ |
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
have just purchased:
| Heard loud noise, looked up | __ |
Political lobbying by mfgr. | __ |
| Espionage | __ |
Was attacked by one | __ |
| Recommended by friend/ally | __ |
Classified | __ |
7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision
to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
| Style/Appearance | __ |
Advanced Weapons Systems | __ |
| Recommended by salesperson | __ |
McDonnell Douglas Reputation | __ |
| Comfort/Convenience | __ |
Back Room Politics | __ |
| Speed/Maneuverability | __ |
Kickback/Bribe | __ |
| Price/Value | __ |
Opposed one in combat | __ |
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
| North America | __ |
Middle East | __ |
| Central/South America | __ |
Misc. Third-World Countries | __ |
| Europe | __ |
Aircraft Carrier | __ |
| Africa | __ |
Classified | __ |
| Asia/Far East | __ |
9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
in the near future:
| Product |
Own |
Intend to purchase |
| Color TV |
__ |
__ |
| VCR |
__ |
__ |
| CD Player |
__ |
__ |
| ICBM |
__ |
__ |
| Killer Satellite |
__ |
__ |
| Air-to-Air Missiles |
__ |
__ |
| Space Shuttle |
__ |
__ |
| Home Computer |
__ |
__ |
| Nuclear Weapon |
__ |
__ |
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
| Communist/Socialist | __ |
Democratic | __ |
| Terrorist | __ |
Dictatorship | __ |
| Crazed (Islamic) | __ |
Corrupt (Latin American) | __ |
| Crazed (Other) | __ |
Corrupt (Other) | __ |
| Neutral | __ |
Primitive/Tribal | __ |
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
| Cash | __ |
Suitcases of Cocaine | __ |
| Personal Check | __ |
Oil Revenues | __ |
| Major Credit Card | __ |
Deficit Spending | __ |
| Traveler's Check | __ |
Ransom Money | __ |
12. Please tell us about your primary occupation:
| Occupation |
You |
Your spouse |
| Homemaker |
__ |
__ |
| Sales/Marketing |
__ |
__ |
| Revolutionary |
__ |
__ |
| Clerical |
__ |
__ |
| Mercenary |
__ |
__ |
| Tyrant |
__ |
__ |
| Middle Management |
__ |
__ |
| Eccentric Billionaire |
__ |
__ |
| Defense Minister/General |
__ |
__ |
| Student |
__ |
__ |
| Retired |
__ |
__ |
13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on
a regular basis (check all that apply):
| Activity/Interest |
You |
Your spouse |
| Golf |
__ |
__ |
| Boating/Sailing |
__ |
__ |
| Sabotage |
__ |
__ |
| Running/Jogging |
__ |
__ |
| Propaganda/ Disinformation |
__ |
__ |
| Destabilizing/Overthrow |
__ |
__ |
| Default on Loans |
__ |
__ |
| Gardening |
__ |
__ |
| Crafts |
__ |
__ |
| Black Market/Smuggling |
__ |
__ |
| Watching Sports on TV |
__ |
__ |
| Wines |
__ |
__ |
| Interrogation/Torture |
__ |
__ |
| Household Pets |
__ |
__ |
| Crushing Rebellions |
__ |
__ |
| Recon/Espionage |
__ |
__ |
| Fashion Clothing |
__ |
__ |
| Border Disputes |
__ |
__ |
| Mutually Assured Destruction |
__ |
__ |
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better
in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special
offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious
consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO
