This is forwarded from a graduate of the U. of Oklahoma Chemical Engineering
Dept., citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test questions for his final
exam of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh is known for asking questions on his finals
like: "Why do airplanes fly?"
In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat, and Mass Transfer II" final exam question
was: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some
variant. One student, however wrote the following:
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If
they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass.
“So, at what rate are souls moving into Hell and at what rate are souls
leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
"As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.
"With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass
of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
“[A1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
“[A2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
"So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by a certain
female student during freshman year, that 'It'll be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you,' and taking into account that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be
true;.....thus, Hell is exothermic."
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The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
